Oh shit.
They're SQUARE.
Nobody told me they were going to be square!!
WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME I'D HAVE SQUARE BOOBS???!!!
As I stood in front of the mirror obsessing over the fact that my breasts were now square, the drains in the side were dripping all over the place. Bah, OK, hurry up and get in the shower.
Now, in the aftercare instructions I was told to not raise my arms above my shoulders for at least a week, preferably two. Have you ever tried to wash your hair without raising your arms?
I finally managed to get cleanish hair without having to call MIL in to help me. I did, however, need help getting dressed once I'd managed to drip dry long enough. (More staring at the SquareBoobs in the mirror.) After drying off I put on the Garment of Torture for the first time. It felt wonderful, at first. It felt like somebody was holding my breasts up for me, exactly where they needed to be with just the right amount of pressure.
Getting through that first day after surgery wasn't too bad. I was sore, but as long as I stayed on top of the pain with two Lortab every three hours the pain was tolerable. If I tried to make it to four hours then I went over that edge of what is tolerable. I spent the entire day in the recliner and dozed off & on. I was able to get up & down on my own most of the time, unless I was getting the point that I'd need pain meds soon. The itchiness from the sunburn was beginning to kick in, as well, which was FAR from pleasant.
On day 2 after surgery MIL helped me remove the drains, which felt great. No more dripping down my sides every time I moved!! Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture with the drains in, so no Frankenboobies.
I did, however, notice that I was getting cleavage. At first they had been a square uni-boob, minus the sports bra. So cleavage, no matter how achy it was at developed, was a step in the right direction.
The pain was lessening, as well. It was beginning to feel as though I were a preteen again, rushing through the development of breasts. Sore beyond belief, but bearable. By day 2 I was able to get to four hours between doses.
Over the next week I was able to get on top of the pain, and lowered my dosing to 2 Lortab every 8 hours or so. I had drainage from all of the incisions, but it was no longer bloody. The Garment of Torture was no longer my loving friend gently holding up my breasts to where they were supposed to be. Instead they were my frenemy, forcing my breasts to defy gravity while simultaneously trying to rip my nipples out by the root. (Yes, nipples have roots, didn't you know that?!) I know it was just the feeling of nerve tissue reconnecting, but it was by far the worst part of the entire pain process.
One week after surgery, MIL had to leave. Since I was driving her to the airport I couldn't take a Lortab, so I was finally down to 1000 mg of ibuprofen. I had taken to wearing a cotton sports bra underneath the Garment of Torture, and that morning I sat down at the computer in just my sports bra for a few minutes. I had only been sitting for a moment when I heard and felt a pop in my left breast, just above my areola. OW OW OW OW OW!!!! A muscle had popped loose into the position it wanted to be in. Nobody had told me THAT was going to happen either. I tried calling my plastic surgeon, but it was surgery day so nobody was in the office. I finally came to the conclusion that even though it hurt like hell I wasn't going to die, and as the day went on the soreness subsided. 3 weeks later, however, there is still a bit of a lump where the muscle is.
2 days after surgery. Lots of deep
tissue bruising, keyhole & anchor
incisions closed with stitches and
steri-strips.
